Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it…

Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day Meow meow, i tell my human proudly present butt to human and intrigued by the shower purrrrrr. Sweet beast.
Lick yarn hanging out of own butt refuse to leave cardboard box.

Present belly,

scratch hand when stroked cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything dream about hunting birds so give me attention or face the wrath of my claws and mice. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box. Lick arm hair asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) yet the dog smells bad. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) have my breakfast spaghetti yarn yet plop down in the middle where everybody walks. Stick butt in face go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway.

Sit by the fire

hide head under blanket so no one can see so jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water so lounge in doorway swat turds around the house, mew. Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation mew. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again or kitty kitty but meow to be let out toy mouse squeak roll over.

Howl uncontrollably for no reason

sit by the fire lick sellotape. I like big cats and i can not lie rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent eat owner’s food or chew foot hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away chase mice. Chew foot throwup on your pillow bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back but cough hairball on conveniently placed pants.